Marriage is to sex what restaurants are to a healthy diet |
I am 27 years old and got married in 2009, but I've had absolutely no sexual contact with my wife since then. The reason: I had an affair previously, but I had to break up because my family opposed the match. I still love my ex, but my family is pressuring me to continue with my marriage. I am sad, confused and guilty. What can I do? If all those serials on the idiot box weren't substantiating evidence enough, now you know it first hand: families ruin it like nothing else. My first response would have been to suggest a healthy get-to-know-each-other threesome, but then what is the point of a menage-a-trois if there are no surprises involved? First of all, dispel the myth that marriages are about the sex. That would be akin to assuming that restaurants are about healthy dietary options. See if the continuous family pressure can keep the marriage going. This way, you can stay the numb and mute good boy that you are and service your wife once in a while. If that doesn't work, get out of your sham marriage and be with the girl you think you like. Be prepared: Divorce isn't easy in our country. First, ascertain two things: (A) do you have enough patience and money to fight a long unsure battle against your wife, and risk being disowned by your family? Is Miss Ex worth all this? (B) would this Ex stand by you if your wife decides to sweep the courtroom floor indefinitely with your gonads? My friend Meenakshi* is being harassed by a boy in our class. Lately, he's been telling her how she should dress. He even follows her home. Meenakshi is scared, but doesn't want to tell her parents as she's afraid of how they might react. How can she resolve this? I feel most sorry for Meenakshi. If it wasn't enough that one guy is allegedly stalking her, she also has you to contend with, going public with her sordid intimate stuff. Wait a minute, are you the said stalker!? Don't be scared, stalking is quite a healthy ego boost actually. And if said stalker is good looking, the girl stands to gain popularity points by mentioning it on her Facebook page. About M's parents: Are they retired secret agents who run a private detective agency? Would they feel insulted for not having figured out this stalker without help from their daughter (oh wait, her "friend")? Parents are parents and that's how God dented them. It would be wisest to keep them in the loop. They should chat with this boy, or his parents, or his parole officer. And for your own good, stay out of this. I've been down this road, so believe me when I say this: you must know the least possible in order to be able to plead complete deniability later. I am in love with a guy who used to be my best friend. We dated for 10 months, but then he broke up with me saying he needed to focus on his studies. When we broke up, he told me I was too possessive. Maybe this is because I always had a problem how close he was with his new best friend. What should I do? When it comes to squirming out of a relationship, guys use any excuse possible. Just like the Rule#34 on the internet (Don't know Rule#34!? Go look it up), there is the breakup Rule, let's call it 'the 9-2-11'. Anything that can be imagined is a possible, arguably valid reason for a breakup. Don't take to heart the words of a man breaking up with you. What bugs me is that he used a reason as lame as 'studies'. If you can't be honest, at least be creative. Would it have killed him to say that he wanted to explore his sexuality, or that he had taken a vow of celibacy, or that he wished to see his name in the Guinness book for having slept with all his 'best' friends? In a movie, that is where you and her get together to exact revenge on him, but life is not 35mm. Distract yourself with other things. "Studies" perhaps. |
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